*This is three-post series where I dig into the connection between our hearts, our home and our community and why it matters to pay attention . This post discusses the most important: the heart.
Each day, I dedicate a minimum of 30 minutes to myself. I shower, do my hair, put on make-up, and get myself dressed. It’s true that I do this because it helps me feel more mentally ready to tackle the day and have confidence in my ability to handle responsibilities well. “If I don’t look disheveled on the outside, I won’t feel disheveled on the inside,” I tell myself. Is this truth?
The rest of the day is the outpouring. The love, patience and kindness (and energy!) needed to be a WAHM/SAHM; the focus and mental agility to switch modes and handle government proposal work; the deep digging to preserve fleeting and precious creativity; the authenticity, wholeness and compassion it takes to lead others in a small group or a church congregation in Sunday worship; and the tenderness it takes to be a supportive wife. These are the things that require an outpouring each week. I want to do them well. I fail so many times.
At the end of 24 hours, at the end of a week and a month’s time, I could find myself depleted. If I only prioritized 30 minutes a day to look put together on the outside while neglecting my heart, it would be insufficient for the outpouring it takes to be whole and fully present for the life and the people I have been given to serve.
If we neglect our own hearts, failing to show ourselves kindness by pursuing and taking hold of the soul rest we need, we will be unable to show up and truly be ready to serve our family, friends, clients, and employers, from a place of overflow and abundance. If your being is a vessel, you have simply painted it in pleasing colors and patterns and tipped yourself over, only to find nothing inside of you to pour out. Not only are you parched and dry on the inside, you would have nothing life-giving to offer others.
This is not okay.
I am a Christian and reading the Bible is part of this soul rest I need to fill this empty vessel. I re-read a passage in the Bible, Matthew 22:38-39, that tugged at my heart for months. In this scene, one of the Pharisees, the experts in the Law of the Old Testament, tested Jesus with a question, asking, “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied,
Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.”
Then Jesus said,
A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’
In The Message translation of this verse, it says, ‘Love others as well as you love yourself.”
Do you love yourself well? Do you pay attention to the stirrings of your heart when it feels unsettled, emptied, rushed, uncared for. Or do you put your shoes on day after day, and face the world in your own might, pouring out from a vessel that is slowly emptying? If you loved your neighbors, which encapsulate all others (e.g., your family, friends, clients, employers, strangers) as you loved yourself, would that be loving them well?
Whether you believe in Jesus right now or not, these words are life-giving truth and would apply to you. For the sake of others, for the sake of yourself – you must pursue wholeness. Pay attention to your heart.
This is what I must do to fill this empty vessel in order to be of any good use to the people that matter the most to me. I must give myself time and space for the silence and solitude to just be. There is no striving, no forcing myself in a mental space to be meditative and “peaceful.” I am simply still with what is real in me at the moment – whatever I’m feeling at the moment. And I am still with whatever circumstances are real, at the moment. I am still with what is true so that I can rest and settle in the presence of God, honest and vulnerable. It is a deep breath that replenishes my soul. There is no presentable shell required. And then through the act of sincere prayer, thanksgiving and praise, and through reading His Word, my mind is slowly renewed and this emptying vessel begins to refill. I go through seasons rich in this silence and solitude and experienced the overflow of joy, hope and life it brings.
Why It Matters to Pay Attention to Your Heart
Why does this all matter so much to me? Because I have also experienced the season where the heart and soul are neglected. When stirrings are ignored, feet are put to the ground, pushing through responsibilities in our own might. The hurried life that looks calm above and rushed on the inside. I have watched and felt the shift from joy to dread. From simple tiredness to soul-exhausted. This was not the fullness of life as it was designed to be. I look around me and see others experience some of the same. But I know in my heart, there is more to grab hold of.
I see with clarity the full Hope of life as it was intended: Human beings beautifully created to walk this earth, fully themselves as they were designed to be and loving others from that place of fullness.
Caring for your body and mind is important- but the heart matters most. What would it look like to pay attention to the stirring in your heart? Has there been something intangible below the surface that the hurried pace of life has not allowed you to uncover? What would it feel like to sit still in a quiet space, in a still moment, allowing yourself this kindness for your soul to rest in the presence of what is True?
This is beyond consumption of soulful material that comes from the notification of a daily bible verse or devotion or e-mailed inspirational quote. It is the bravery, the vulnerability and the kindness you offer yourself to be still with what is true inside you so that your soul can come alive.
For the sake of others, for the sake of your soul – pay attention to your heart. You were designed to be whole.
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